Off the Charts Page 5

  THUMP!

  Nick and Joe turned. Kevin had just dropped down one of the poles. He was stylishly dressed and carrying flowers. As soon as he saw his brothers staring at him, he stuck the flowers behind his back.

  “What’s up, bros?” he asked.

  Joe glared at him. “What’s behind your back?”

  “Uh . . . flowers?” Kevin said, pulling them back out. He searched his mind desperately for a cover story. “I’m trying to attract bees.”

  “But you’re allergic to bees,” Joe reminded him.

  Kevin searched his mind again. Nope. He had nothing. Bees it was.

  “True,” he said. “But unless you want to give me time to come up with another excuse, that’s what I’m going with.”

  “Looks like we’re all sneak-dating Maria,” Nick spoke up. “So much for Amendment Three, subparagraph A, line six.”

  “We’ve never not obeyed the JONAS law,” Joe pointed out. “We’re lawless. We’re like outlaws.”

  They all stared at one another for a moment, trying on the idea of being outlaws. It felt not entirely comfortable.

  Kevin was the first to break the silence. “I think we should all ask her out,” he said.

  Nick nodded. “And may the best man impress her, uh, the best.”

  “Totally,” Joe agreed.

  So it was decided. JONAS was breaking their own law, regardless of the consequences.

  Nick figured there was no point in wasting time. He reached for his cell phone.

  “Oh, no!” Joe said when he noticed. “I’m calling her first!”

  He pulled out his own cell phone. But Kevin was grinning triumphantly, his phone already in his hand.

  “I’ve got you both beat!” he crowed.

  He hit speed dial. A second later Joe’s phone rang.

  “Hello?” Joe said into it.

  Kevin pressed his own phone to his face. “Hey,” he said. “I lost that number to Picarillo’s. Can you help me out?”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  The next day at school, Kevin spotted Stella and her best friend, Macy Misa, walking down the hallway. Macy was a star athlete. At the moment, she was carrying an oar. Kevin guessed it had something to do with the crew team. But he wasn’t really focused on that. He had more important things on his mind.

  “Stella!” he called, hurrying over to them. “You’re a girl.”

  “Last time I checked,” Stella agreed.

  “How do I impress one?” Kevin asked, ignoring her sarcastic tone.

  Macy gazed at him adoringly. “Just existing pretty much does it,” she answered for Stella.

  Sometimes, Stella had to admit, she found Macy’s JONAS obsession a little tiresome. But this time the girl had a point. “Why do you need advice on impressing a girl?” she asked Kevin.

  “I’m going up against two real ‘playahs’,” Kevin explained. “I need every advantage I can get.”

  That sounded a little odd to Stella. What kind of guy could go up against a JONAS? It didn’t matter. She loved giving advice—fashion or otherwise.

  “Well,” she said, “I find it’s always impressive when a boy cooks for me.”

  Kevin nodded eagerly. This was exactly what he was looking for! He pulled out a pad and paper and started taking notes.

  “Excellent,” he said. “What do they usually cook?”

  “Well, it’s never actually happened,” Stella admitted. “But I think if it did, I’d be impressed.”

  Kevin jotted another note. “Does cereal count?” he asked.

  Stella had to stop and think about that. “The thought counts,” she decided at last.

  “I’d eat the cereal!” Macy put in eagerly. In her excitement, she banged her oar on the floor. Well, not the floor so much as what happened to be between the oar and the floor. Which happened to be Kevin’s foot.

  Kevin yelped in pain. He yanked his foot to safety. He always seemed to get hurt when he was around Macy.

  “Sorry,” Macy said. She shrugged. “But I’d still eat the cereal.”

  Later that day, Stella and Macy were waiting by the school elevator. Crew practice was over, and now Macy was carrying a lacrosse stick.

  “Stella!” someone called.

  Turning, Stella saw Nick racing over. Reflexively, he ducked as he reached them. He was just in time. Macy had turned around, too, and her lacrosse stick whooshed right over his head. It made his curls quiver.

  “I need some advice,” Nick said breathlessly, straightening again. “I’m trying to get close to a girl.”

  Macy had been waiting to hear those words all her life. She was a girl! She stepped closer, pressing herself up to Nick.

  Nick glanced at her. “A specific girl,” he clarified quickly.

  “Oh.” Macy stepped back.

  Nick returned his attention to Stella. “The problem is, there are these two ‘mack daddies’ who are also interested in her,” he explained.

  “Wait a minute.” Stella held up one hand. Things were suddenly starting to become clearer. She peered at Nick. “My Stella senses are tingling. Would these two ‘mack daddies’ be Kevin and Joe?”

  Nick looked impressed. “Mack dangit, you’re good!”

  Stella’s expression was grim. “Emergency JONAS meeting,” she ordered. “In three . . . two . . . one,” Stella finished a few minutes later.

  Inside the hallway, Kevin, Nick, and Joe were lined up. Macy was looking on from nearby. By now, she was carrying an archery set.

  Stella surveyed the three members of JONAS. First Kevin. Then Nick. Finally her gaze stopped on Joe. Her eyes narrowed.

  “What is this I’m hearing about some girl you’re going to ask out?” she demanded.

  Joe held up a finger in a “one second” gesture. Then he stepped over and carefully removed Macy’s bow and arrow from her hands. Better safe than sorry.

  After setting the archery set aside, he returned to his spot in front of Stella. She looked annoyed. Really annoyed. Even more annoyed than she’d been when Kevin had ripped the knees out of a brand-new pair of custom-made pants while practicing his power slide. Could this be her roundabout way of starting another pants rant?

  Joe glanced at his brothers’ pants. Then he checked his own. Nope. All six knees were totally intact. So that wasn’t it. It was the girl-hewas-going-to-ask-out thing. Interesting.

  “Who told you that?” he asked.

  Stella waved a hand toward Nick and Kevin. “Mack and Daddy,” she replied. She frowned at Joe. “Who is this girl?”

  Uh-oh. Nick and Kevin exchanged a glance. Everyone knew that Stella and Joe liked each other. Well, everyone, that is, except maybe Stella and Joe.

  “You don’t know her,” Joe told Stella with a shrug. He couldn’t understand why Stella only seemed mad at him.

  “Is she pretty?” Stella demanded.

  Joe rolled his eyes. “No, she’s hideous. Why else would I ask her out?”

  “Come on,” Stella urged. “Tell me who she is!”

  Joe smirked. “Why?” he asked playfully. “Are you jealous?”

  “Of course not!” Stella snapped. She paused. “Is it that new girl in home ec?”

  “Is it Macy on the archery squad?” Macy asked, doing her best to throw her voice as if Stella had asked the question.

  Nick was feeling impatient. Maria was somewhere out there. All alone. Probably lonely. Just waiting to be asked out . . .

  “Are Kevin and Nick still in trouble, or can we go?” he asked, taking a step forward.

  Stella glared at him. He stepped back into line. Guess they were staying.

  “Let me fill you guys in on some female 4-1-1,” Stella said. “If one guy likes a girl, that’s cool. If two guys like a girl, even better. If three guys like a girl, jackpot. But if all three guys happen to be brothers . . .” She paused for effect. “Well, she just bought herself a ticket on the crazy train.”

  “But what do we do?” Kevin protested. “All three of us like her.”

&n
bsp; Stella crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, all three of you had better unlike her.”

  “We talked about it,” Nick said, trying to sound confident. “And we can handle it.”

  “You can handle going after the same girl?” Stella shook her head in disbelief. She knew better. “Remember when all three of you fought over that teddy bear you used to have when you were little?”

  Nick blinked. Joe tilted his head to one side. Kevin gazed thoughtfully at a locker. All three of them were drifting back to that memory. Drifting . . . drifting . . .

  “I got it first!” Joe squealed, yanking on one limb of a teddy bear.

  “I’m the oldest!” Kevin yanked on another limb.

  Nick was clinging to yet another limb. “Mr. Bumble belongs to me!” he howled.

  The teddy bear looked dismayed. Its arms and legs were stretching . . . stre-e-e-e-e-etching . . .

  Nick snapped back to the here and now. “That’s one of the few times we really got mad at each other,” he remembered.

  Stella nodded. “It tore you apart for a month,” she reminded all three of them. “And this isn’t a teddy bear. It’s a girl. A real girl. With real arms.”

  Kevin shuddered, picturing Maria’s arms stretching like Mr. Bumble’s had. “She’s right,” he told Nick and Kevin. “Let’s not go there again.”

  “I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.” Stella smiled, looking satisfied. She knew the boys would listen to her. They usually did. “Come on, Macy.”

  As soon as the girls had disappeared, Nick turned to his brothers. “Okay,” he said briskly. “We can’t all go out with Maria at the same time. We’ll end up fighting.”

  Kevin nodded sadly. “I wish she could just come over, hang out, and decide who she likes best.”

  “You’re such a dreamer, Kev,” Joe said with a laugh, shaking his head.

  But Nick brightened. He’d just had one of his patented brilliant ideas.

  “How about if we ask her to come over, hang out, and decide whom she likes best?” he suggested.

  Joe gasped. “Nick, you’re a genius!”

  Kevin frowned. “Hey!” Hadn’t he just said that?

  CHAPTER SIX

  Later that day, the guys were hanging out in the kitchen at home. Nick checked his watch.

  “Maria should be here any minute,” he said. “Best behavior—right, bros?”

  Joe looked worried. “What if one of us starts to flirt?”

  Nick saw his point. It would be hard to resist that urge when Maria was around. Especially for his brothers. Joe definitely had a weak spot when it came to the ladies. And Kevin? Well, you just never knew how Kevin was going to react. Usually that was part of his charm. But right now, with Maria on her way, it worried Nick.

  “Maybe we should have a code phrase,” he said. “Like . . . ‘the phone’s ringing.’ ”

  Kevin stood up. “I’ll get it.”

  “No,” Nick told him. “That’s the code phrase. If one of us says ‘the phone’s ringing,’ that means you’re hitting on Maria too hard.”

  The doorbell rang. Joe jumped to his feet.

  “I’ll bet that’s Maria,” he said. “I’ll get it.”

  Kevin was already hurrying for the door. “I’ll get it.”

  “Let’s all three get it.” Nick rushed after them.

  When they opened the door, Maria was standing outside. She was holding a pizza.

  “Maria, so glad you could come over and hang with us,” Joe said in his smoothest voice.

  Maria smiled. “It felt weird coming over here without a pizza in my hand,” she said. “So I brought some pizza.”

  Suddenly Frankie appeared. “All right!” he exclaimed. “A new deck for my condo!”

  He grabbed the pizza box and took off. The others watched him go. Then they all went inside and sat down.

  There was a moment of silence. All the three Lucas guys could do was stare at Maria. She was awesome. And adorable. And totally, fantastically gorgeous . . .

  “You know, Maria,” Joe said, still sounding suave, “if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

  Kevin and Nick traded a glance. “The phone’s ringing,” Nick said.

  Maria looked confused. “I don’t hear a phone.”

  Joe was still gazing at her adoringly. “Me, neither.” The code was lost on him.

  Kevin jumped to his feet. “Be right back!” he said, heading toward the kitchen.

  Joe’s gaze never left Maria. If he had his way, it would never leave her for the rest of their lives. She was just that perfect.

  “Do you like motorcycles, Maria?” he asked. “Because you’d look good in my sidecar.”

  “Oh,” Maria said. “That sounds cool.”

  Nick’s teeth were clenched so hard he was afraid his jaw might crack. “The phone is ringing,” he told Joe—again.

  “There’s no phone ringing,” Maria told him. “You’ve done too many rock concerts.”

  Just then Kevin returned. He was carrying a tray with a bowl on it. “Hungry, Maria?” he asked, setting it down. “I cooked for you. Hope you like Crunchy Caps!”

  Nick was surprised as he stared at the bowl of cereal. He’d assumed Kevin had just gone to answer the nonringing phone.

  A moment later, a sound came out of Kevin’s pocket. It was a tinny little voice accompanied by music. The voice kept repeating “Kevin likes Maria . . . Kevin likes Maria . . .”

  Kevin was still smiling dopily at Maria. “It’s my new ringtone,” he explained.

  He grabbed the phone out of his pocket and checked the caller ID. Then he turned and glared at Nick. Nick was holding his own cell phone.

  Maria looked more confused than ever. “Did you just call him?” she asked Nick.

  “Uh, yes,” Nick told her. “I wanted to tell him that . . .” He fished around for a cover story. Then another brilliant idea came to him. One of his patented two-birds-with-one-stone strokes of genius. “I just wrote you a song!”

  That snapped Joe out of his Maria coma. He stopped gazing at her and started glaring at Nick. He knew what would happen if Nick actually had written a song. He’d sing it. Marie would swoon. And Joe would have no chance.

  “The phone is ringing!” he snapped. “The phone is ringing! The phone is absolutely, way, way ringing!”

  But Nick was already pulling a guitar out from behind the couch. This was perfect! Why hadn’t he thought of it earlier? Singing Maria a song would really showcase his intense, sensitive side. How could she possibly resist that?

  “It’s nothing, really,” he told her modestly. “Just a little something I came up with.”

  He strummed a chord. Then another. He closed his eyes and started to sing. It felt as if he and Maria were alone. . . .

  “Not cool, Nick,” Joe snapped.

  “Well, I wouldn’t have had to sing to her if you hadn’t been all ‘Hey, Maria, I have a motorcycle,’ ” Nick argued, forgetting that Maria was still right there.

  Joe flapped a hand in Kevin’s direction. “Well, I wouldn’t have had to bring up the motorcycle if Captain Suave over here hadn’t broken out the cereal.”

  “You started it!” Kevin protested. “ ‘U and I together.’ ” He shook his head in annoyance. “Like you could really rearrange the alphabet!”

  “Uh . . .” Maria broke in, “all this attention is kind of flattering, but mostly weird. So I think I should go home.” She stood up.

  “Wait, Maria,” Kevin said. Then he glanced at his brothers, looking troubled. “She’s right,” he told them. “It’s Mr. Bumble all over again. She’s a stretched-out teddy bear!”

  Maria looked alarmed. That didn’t sound good. “Look,” she said, backing away. “I don’t know who Mr. Bumble is, and I don’t want to know.”

  She turned and hurried toward the door. The guys jumped up and followed.

  “Wait, Maria,” Joe called. “We’re sorry about tonight, but we’ve never broken the sacred book of JONAS
law.”

  “The sacred what of JONAS who?” Maria asked. She shook her head, looking overwhelmed. “Fake phones, Mr. Bumble, JONAS law. I feel like I bought myself a ticket on the crazy train!”

  She turned and kept going toward the door. “Maria!” Nick called after her. “We can explain! It’s just that all three of us like you.”

  “Maybe we can share you,” Kevin suggested.

  Maria looked more alarmed than ever. “I’m out of here,” she said. Then, without another word, she disappeared out the door.

  Nick sighed and turned to his brothers. “Maybe explaining wasn’t the way to go.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Later, the guys were up in their room helping Stella organize their clothes. But their minds weren’t really on the task at hand.

  Nick picked up a shirt. He started to fold it the normal way. Halfway through, he forgot what he was doing and ended up rolling it into a ball.

  Nearby, Kevin was supposed to be sorting through some shoes. Instead he was just staring into space.

  Joe tried to hang up a pair of pants on a rack. But he wasn’t paying enough attention. The pants slid off the hanger and onto the floor.

  “Joe, careful!” Stella cried. “The crease in those pants is razor sharp, and you’re not wearing safety gloves.”

  Joe apologized insincerely. He couldn’t seem to care about anyone except . . .

  Nick sighed. “I can’t believe we were ready to turn our backs on the sacred book of JONAS law for a girl.”

  “Even if it was Maria with hair like silky strands of mozzarella,” Joe said dreamily.

  “She was a big part of our lives,” Kevin added wistfully.

  Stella rolled her eyes. She set aside the clothes she was holding. Enough was enough. This behavior was just downright foolish.

  “Okay, pop quiz,” she said. “What color are Maria’s eyes?”

  “Blue?” Joe guessed.

  “Brown?” Nick tried.

  Kevin shrugged. “I’m pretty sure she had two.”

  “Name one thing she did other than deliver pizza,” Stella said, challenging them with yet another “tough” question.

  “Um . . .” Joe thought about that. “She rang the doorbell?”